Thursday, 12 December 2013
These and other questions are on the menu at the PORN CAFE.
Sunday, December 22 * 8pm start
Le Cagibi, 5490 boul St-Laurent (at St-Viateur), Montreal
Admission: $5 (18+ only)
Every month, Sexploreum brings you a skip-and-scan presentation of classic or groundbreaking porn, and then follows it up with guest panel commentary and facilitated discussion. Whether you are a avid and thoughtful porn consumer, a student of human nature, or just curious what all the fuss is about, PORN CAFE is a place for you!
The series launches on Sunday, Dec. 22, with "Behind the Green Door", the 1972 full-length film that ruined Marilyn Chamber's fledgling career as "the Ivory soap girl", but was considered a major mover behind the Golden Age of Porn. The panel for PORN CAFE's opening night includes Sexploreum co-founders Claire Litton and Cameryn Moore, along with Montreal-based writer and porn performer Seska Lee.
Wednesday, 11 December 2013
Normally, I'm not a fan of parades. I've been to too many Canadian winter Santa Claus shiverfests. But when you throw in the word panty in there—along with a so many delicious stories...well I'll line the streets to read her adventures. And we can all check them out Off Go the Panties and Robin Juliet—from the pleasure of our own homes.
How did you get into sex blogging?
I didn’t even know what sex blogging was when I started almost four years ago. I wrote about my experiences while following self-help dating books. The blog (now defunct) was snarky and sexy and not the least bit useful for anyone really wanting to get involved in a loving relationship. I used my real name and had to shut that blog down after the men I was dating Googled me and found out about my sexual shenanigans.
I started writing anonymously a little over a year ago as Panty Parade. Off Go the Panties blends personal sexual exploration (and fantasy), advice for would-be erotic writers, and commentary about anything having to do with sex. I no longer follow anyone’s rules. That gets me into trouble from time to time, but I’m okay with that.
Can we call you Dr. Off Go The Panties?
I write as Panty Parade on Off Go the Panties and Robin Juliet when not writing for my blog. You can call me doctor if you want—I do have a Ph.D.
What is the most important thing you've learned—of any nature—in your years of sex blogging?
The most valuable lessons I’ve learned came from other sex bloggers. I learned that we have an active, loving, giving, supportive, and open community. It’s very humbling when you ask for something and thirty people you know only through the Internet come running to the rescue.
I’m a relative newbie, so knowing that there’s a world of mentors out there helps immensely now that I’m trying to branch out into erotic fiction.
Do you ever aspire to finding someone and settling down?
I aspire to find someone who will love me to my core and never ask me to settle down.
How are you feeling about the reaction to your piece “How to Get Everything You Want from Casual Sex (Without Hurting Anyone)”.
There are two things going on over at The Good Men Project that I find troubling, but overall the experience has been wonderful. The Good Men Project is incredibly savvy when it comes to social media marketing and getting their word out, and I hope to continue learning from them. The sex and relationships editor, Jackson Bliss, has been incredibly supportive and open to my ideas. I’m learning so much by being affiliated with them.
I had a stylist ask me this very same question a few years ago. Back then I answered: chic, cosmopolitan, and a wee bit mysterious. So those words are out. . . . How about friendly, fastidious, and occasionally frenzied?
What themes and activities are you currently enjoying writing about in your erotica?
I asked the beta readers for my novella, Trouble, if the ending was “happy.” One reader responded, “If you call being alone happy.” I believe the technical term for my writing is dark or gothic erotica. The couples are not in love, nor do they want to be. They’re okay with how their lives are working out even though they don’t look anything like a fairytale.
My main characters in this first book get mixed up in the emotional turmoil that (sometimes) comes with great sex. Can you love the sex without loving the person? Some people can and others cannot. That’s the crux of Trouble.
My second book—I actually wrote a lot of it last spring—is a series of short stories where the emotional (and psychological) undercurrent impacts various couples as they explore their erotic fantasies. I’m calling it Involuntary Reflex because our gut reactions to lovers are often unintentional—we respond much like a funny bone hit with a mallet.
What most catches your eye in a Craigslist ad, and what turns you of the most?
I don’t answer many Craigslist personals anymore because I’d much rather post an advertisement and see what happens. When I’ve responded in the past, it was usually consistent with some of my personal kinks—out of town businessmen who are looking for a little home town hospitality. I’m a big fan of expense accounts and hotel sex.
What can we look forward to from you in the future?
Panty Parade will keep writing at Off Go the Panties and Robin Juliet will publish more erotic fiction and articles. Trouble will be available in January 2014 and Involuntary Reflex will be out in March. The third book—there are traces of various characters in all three, but it’s not an official series—will be out this fall.
Have you been affected because perceived sex or erotic work?
I hope many heed her call to arms:
Sex work is under assault because it’s both sex and work. When we work in sex, however we work in sex, we brush up against that stigma. If we want sex to be taken seriously on our watch, we have to commit to standing up for access to sex education and health, for pleasure, and for treating all of the sexual professions with respect.
We have been hard at work asking the public what they are looking to know, read and be aware of in today's life and times.
We are looking for the following writers and please note this is a volunteer basis (at least for now) - we are actually in a joint venture process but all that will be revealed soon enough!
Our new content will consist of mainstream news, current events and of course Adult Entertainment news and interviews. The following list is what we are looking for. Please remember you must commit at least six months to a year. Those who are not ready to commit, please do not respond to our ad. We are looking for people who are ready to take their writing to the next level and work with us to move up in the magazine industry. We also have another site where the content will be more specific to Alternative Lifestyles and beliefs. We want people who have strong writing skills and not afraid to speak their minds in sharing their thoughts.
To know more of what these sections will entail please contact Marabelle Blue directly at email@example.com
Relationships and Sex Technology Politics Independent Music Gay and Lesbian Erotic Stories (we always accept story submissions)
BDSM (advice and how to's) Sex Toy Reviews Book Reviews Recipes Alternative Health and Psychology
We are looking forward to hearing from you!
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
'Tis the Season for Sex & Shopping
Christmas is just 16 days away but don't worry you can pick up some great gifts right here at Oasis Aqualounge! Oasis booty shorts (American Apparel brand) in hot pink and black $30 each, pre-shrunk cotton/spandex blend. Oasis tanks $25 each.
...at the Oasis!
Oasis massage oils $10 per bottle. These exotic oils create a satin like finish and nourish the skin.
Citrus: An uplifting blend made from oils of orange, lemon, lime, grapefruit and tangerine.
Spearmint: Made with pure spearmint essential oil leaves an invigorating tingle on the skin.
Unscented…Pure unadulterated luxury.
Oasis has revealed their first ever staff 2014 calendar! This collection of photographs showcases a variety of body types, personalities and sexualities that Oasis Aqua lounge is known for. Models were given the freedom to express their individuality, thus lending an authentic portrayal of the type of people who work and play at the club. Inside the calendar you will find coupons for 50% off events like Hot Springs, Sensual Sunday, Sapphic Aquatica, etc. at Oasis Aqualounge as well as burlesque lessons by Esther De Ville, 50% off admission to any Great Canadian Burlesque show, 30% off off at Stag Shop & more!
Guests may purchase calendars at the club for $25 each or benefit from a great offer of 5 calendars for $100. These items are hot but limited, so get yours while supplies last! Click here for more info or to purchase online. Proceeds from calendar sales will be donated to The Rose Centre.
Give a Unique Gift...Give a Gift of ArtHave you ever wondered about the beautiful and erotic artwork adorning the Oasis walls? Most pieces are for sale and would make a wonderful gift for that someone special. Contact Holly, our Marketing Co-oridnator if you're interested in purchasing any artwork firstname.lastname@example.org and she'll be sure to get all the right information to you.
Speical thanks to Chris Hutcheson, Ruth Gillson, Annie Fannie, Sir G., Rachel Perry & Will Santillo for displaying their work at Oasis.
TUESDAYS HOT TICKET
Foot Fetish Fantasy 3
Toronto’s ultimate foot play party is back!
Foot Fetish Fantasy is a night dedicated to women who enjoy getting their feet worshipped and the men who love them. The night will feature trample performances by Dj Ella Vation, high heel fashion show, burlesque performances by Esther De Ville and Fionna Flauntit and of course Foot rubs for all ladies!
Doors open at 8pm. Men ($50) Ladies Free!
Oasis Anniversary Re-cap & More
Oasis BlogSo many exciting events have happened in the last few weeks at Oasis Aqualounge, like our 3 Year Anniversary Sparkle Party. During these events we've met many new friends at the club, including a wonderful couple that visited us all the way from Chicago as well as had the pleasure to re-connect with those we haven't seen in a while. The past few weeks have been a wonderful whirlwind of good times, great conversations and lots and lots of sex! Looking forward to what the rest of December brings...
Click here for blog & photos
Highlight This Week
Sex CircusSaturday December 14
On Saturday Dec 14th, the Sex Circus visits Oasis Aqualounge! From 9:00pm-3:00am, join us under the big top for pleasure, performers and poolside festivities!
Renowned Tarot card reader, Henry Kestler will be , demonstrating a circus-themed magic show and will be offering FREE Tarot readings to guests. All participants will receive a raffle ticket to be entered into a draw to win a ‘Sex Circus Gift Pack,’ which includes:
Gift certificate to The Occult Shop, set of candles (red, blue, green, pink, yellow, purple), a candlestick, a brand new/sealed Cinnamon Oil and more!
For more information on Tarot and Henry’s magical skills, check out his website! www.henrytarot.wix.com/freetarot
The sinfully sexy St. Stella will delight and seduce the crowd with her carnival-inspired contortionist act, as she bends and twists her supple body to the amazement of the crowd.
Our Kissing Booth will be featured on the main bar-step right up and smooch a sweetie! Music will be provided by DJ Johnny B. Goode. Women and couples/partners welcomes. Club open from 11:00am-3:00am
Hot Springs Wednesday December 11
A SYBIAN will be placed in the dungeon and available 8pm to midnight. There will be a certified sybian attendant from Lovedreamer who will demonstrate, clean, and answer all your questions & concerns. Please let MsKitty know that you would like to participate and will have a designated spot ready. Participation can be solo or if you like to bring your partner to help.
Enjoy our outdoor heated pool, hot tubl, steam room, sauna, 2 full licensed bars, dungeon, and all play areas. All males must be accompanied by a female(s) or couple(s) in the upstairs play areas, thank you. DJ Ella Vation 10pm to late. Massage available in the evening located Upper Red Bar. $1/per min, suggested time 20 minutes.
Couples $50, single men $50, ladies always free. Regular Club Hours: 11am to 3am
Foreplay Thursdays December 12
Jump start the weekend! Join us in the day or evening for some well deserved XXX-rated R and R or some downtime in our spa, pool and hot tub. Either way Oasis is sure to please. Couples $80, women $20. Club open 11am-3am.
Pole Envy Friday December 13
Want to learn the pole dancing basics or touch up on your pole skills? Join us for a demonstration & workshop by the lovely Lady Eva at 10pm. Club open 11am-3am. Couples $80, women $20.
Spa Sunday December 15-Daytime
The perfect daytime retreat! Sauna, hot tub, play rooms & all amenities are available…go ahead and indulge! Club open11am-7pm. Couples $50, Ladies $20.
Genesis Fetish Party Mistress Claws December 15-Evening
Sass After Class December 16Go ahead skip class, play hooky and be naughty… Sass after Class Monday is our event for students and everyone under 35 years old. Single men over 35 please visit Hot Springs every Wednesday. Women just $5, men under 35 with student ID $20, otherwise $50 each. Open from 11am-3am.
OASIS AQUALOUNGE WILL BE CLOSED ON TUESDAY DECEMBER 17. REGULAR HOURS COMMENCE WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 17 FOR
HOT SPRINGS 11AM-3AM.
GET YOUR NEW YEARS EVE TICKETS TODAY!
Top Hats & Tiaras Tuesday December 31Buy your tickets now, makes a great Holiday Gift! Prepaid tickets available untilDecember 30, 2013. Join us for our New Years Eve Gala Top Hats & Tiaras. Dress to impress, ladies wear your tiaras and adorn yourselves in accessories. Gentlemen look dapper in your fanciest top hats. Top hats and tiaras also available at the door (while supplies last). Champagne toast at midnight, delicious hors d’oeuvres & more. End the year with a night to remember.
Our good friends at the Ramada Plaza Hotel have once again reserved a block of rooms at a special discounted price for Oasis guests! To reserve your room please follow the guidelines below:
Contact: In House Reservations
email@example.com (416) 977-4823 x 7265
The group code is CGOAS5. Discounted rate is $159.20 + HST. Parking is an additional $25.00. The rates are based on single/double occupancy. There is an additional charge of $15.00 per person above double occupancy.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:After the super successful past Down To F*CK party we will be making the party a monthly event! Down To F*ck will fall on the first Tuesday of every month, STARTING TUESDAY JANUARY 7. Single gentlemen are invited ($50) and ladies are free!
Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for more details.
Personally, I equate this to the morning after. If you can see the person you're attracted to first thing in the morning and still find him or her hot, then your attraction is assured!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
You all know how I love to play “Would you rather…” so we are doing it again. I enjoyed creating these twisted TMI Tuesday questions. Here we go with …
1. During sex, would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold your lover?
Most of the time, I do the blindfolding, though sometimes I like to have my eyes wrapped up.
2. Would you rather watch your sibling having sex or have the sibling watch you have sex?
Have them watch me. That can be more easily forgotten.
3. Would you rather be arrested (not jailed) for soliciting a prostitute or jailed for one month for civil disobedience.
Given that I think the legal shackles on solicitation should be removed, I'd have no issue with conducting business with a sexworker (the much-preferred term).
4. Would you rather give/receive blowjob on a crowded subway car or have sex on a picnic table at a family reunion?
I'd be quite happy to give or receive head on a subway car!
5. Would you rather do a strip-tease for your pastor/priest/rabbi/religious leader or for your co-workers?
Well, some of my coworkers have already seen me strip...and I have no religious affiliation, I guess I'll stick with MORE coworkers!
Bonus: Would you rather have endless amounts of money or the endless love of your significant other? Why?
Money, besides what I need to give my kids a good life, is of no interest to me. Just enough is my motto. But there's never "just enough" love. Full-on hurricane of love is what I always hope for!
Monday, 9 December 2013
As well, a portion of this purchase supports The Fistula Foundation an organization devoted to bringing fistula repair surgeries to women with access to proper medical care.
On January 1st, 2014, Oasis Aqualounge will be baring it all in celebration of the New Year with their annual Polar Bear Dip at Cherry Beach. Employees of this upscale sex club, located in downtown Toronto, will be plunging into Lake Ontario fully nude for a quick splash after an evening of festivities. This will be the first of many initiatives in a campaign to make Cherry Beach a clothing optional location.
Oasis Aqualounge welcomes all guests who would join in the fun! The club will be arranging free transportation to and from the beach on Wednesday January 1st, at 12:00pm. The venue will also be hosting a special edition of 'Hot Springs'-a weekly event where single men are welcome to attend and women are free of charge. Any brave participants who are willing to dive into Lake Ontario naked will receive complimentary beverage tickets and a free Day Pass to the club. New Year’s Day will mark the starting point towards making Cherry Beach clothing optional with a series of events and community outreach scheduled throughout the year.
Patrons can warm up at the Oasis Aqualounge with some hot chocolate and other delicious beverages. The spa facilities, such as the hot tub and sauna will be available and guests are welcome to bring a pair of cozy pajamas to relax in. Enjoy good conversation, great people and of course, hot sex! Oasis Aqualounge is located at 231 Mutual St. and will be open on New Year's Day from 11:00am-3:00am.
Sunday, 8 December 2013
Very interesting examination of sexual fluidity. However, I think Ann Friedman would have done well to look into men who live on the down-low. These are guys who may have attraction to both men and women, but have to live out their sexual desires with men in parks, bathhouses and restrooms. If the point of the article is to say that things are, slowly, changing to greater acceptance of male relayionships, then this important outlet needs to be recognized and not vilified as is often the case.
Saturday, 7 December 2013
5 Most Overrated Places to Have Sex
How An HIV-Positive Man Was Sent To Prison For Having Sex — With A Condom
Who Is Likely to Be Unfaithful, and Why?
Living with a Phone Sex Operator
Committing to It: Making Married Sex the Best Sex
Sex and the Single Priest
COMPULSORY MONOGAMY IN THE HUNGER GAMES
Transgender Women 49 Times More Likely To Have HIV, Study Says
What does the French prostitution law mean? Denial of consent
From Maria Bello to Tom Daley: Coming out label-free
25 Times Women Have No Problem Initiating Sex
What Women Really Mean Talking Sex
Dear Moses, No More Socks - I Want an Adventure!
Sexy adverts turn women off, research shows
How to have safer sex on the road
Masturbation actually has health benefits
A man having sex with a goat and a naked woman straddling a statue: Erotic Roman frescoes get a modern makeover
Rashida Jones Still Sick of Half-Naked Gyrating Pop Stars
Forbidden Flesh: Fatness and Fetishism Within Adult Entertainment
I Tried Cosmo's Weirdest Sex Tips So You Don't Have To
Dr. Ruthie's videos are an absolute treasure of sex education. If I am ever going to speak publicly on a sex-related topic, I check and see if Ruth has put up a video about it. Because then I know I'll have all the facts straight. And she presents the information in such a good-natured, simple way. Nothing over-the-top, just a camera and a person who knows. An essential resource. And she's helping guide the Guelph Sexuality Conference! Amazing!
Claire co-organizes Montreal's Masturbate-a-thon. Enough said, eh? Well, it could be because that alone is a fantastic feat in helping people own their self-pleasure and removing stigma about masturbation. But that isn't all. Claire's writing it so strong, so brilliant. She contributes to Nerve and Matador with great pieces. She's also not afraid to challenge the status quo in sex spaces—which, to me, is a key trait of any educator.
I am currently enthralled by Ashley's recent, fantastic writing about her move into working as a phone sex operator—but she is so much more than that. As a sex positive educator and coach, Ashley lays herself out to earn the trust and confidence of those she is helping. She shares her own struggles, but not in a way that distracts. Instead, she tells her her issues in a way that teaches and helps. Her's is the voice of experience and compassion.
Congratulations to everyone who made the list!
Friday, 6 December 2013
Best long Clip of the Year:
EVA LIN'S FANCY: YOU WILL GIVE YOURSELF TO HER
Best female performance in a long Clip:
Mistress Eleise de Lacy in HOUSE TRAINING
Dylan Ryan in 50 SHADES OF DYLAN RYAN
Best male performance in a long Clip:
Richie Calhoun in THE SUBMISSION OF EMMA MARX
Eva Lin in EVA LIN'S FANCY: YOU WILL GIVE YOURSELF TO HER
THE SUBMISSION OF EMMA MARX
Best short Clip:
SLAVE OF LOVE
Best female performance in a short Clip:
Ama K in THE LINK
Lady Annabelle in MARIA COMES KNOCKING
Best male performance in a short Clip:
Best trans-performance in a short Clip:
Maria in MARIA COMES KNOCKING
Best narrative film:
VENUS IN FUR directed by Roman Rolanski
Emmanuelle Seigner in VENUS IN FUR
Mathieu Amalric in VENUS IN FUR
Best documentary film:
INTERIOR LEATHER BAR
"Your woman" interpreted by Cheyenne Picardo in REMEDY
Best short narrative Film:
Best Actress in a short narrative film:
Mia Gimp in KRUTCH
Best Actor in a short narrative film:
Roger Batalla in PROMETEO
Best Trans-Performance in a short narrative film:
Grace Towers in LEATHER & GRACE
Best short documentary film:
SAINT AND WHORE directed by Anne Zohra Berrached
Best Song in a short film:
LEATHER & GRACE
VENUS IN FUR
Best Website for a film:
LEATHERBOUND by Bitch
DEFINED LINES by Law Revue Girls
KINKY by Kyra Kane
So, they're not some underlying part of my personality, they're a booty call.
Do you save your porn favourites? Do you go back and look at them?
Now, Dr. Justin Lehmiller sheds some light on the idea of the "coregasm"—neither rare nor new!
These words from actress Maria Bello, used to reveal her partnership with a women to the prying, public minds, go far beyond that. She has written a loose treatise on the emerging notion of partnership—with lovers, family, children, friends.
And I think it is absolutely stunning.
This is, though not perfect for everyone, an indication of where we can go in society. And it isn't perfect because it demonstrates that love, companionship, sex and family will never be perfect.
Thursday, 5 December 2013
Corsets & Clockwork: Steampunk Erotica
Editor: Nicole Gestalt
Publisher: House of Erotica
Deadline: February 28th 2014 (Early Submissions are preferred.)
Payment: Royalties will be split 40% of the net profits with contributing authors, exact values will be given once we know how many stories will be in the final anthology.
Rights: Six Years
Word Count: 5k - 15k
Genre: Steampunk but any sub-genre is welcome be it Science Fiction, BDSM, Fantasy, historical, action, comedy, crime or any other!
Pairings: Any Heat: Any level from romance to burning the pages of the book!
Submission limit: Authors may submit up to two stories.
Editor/Author Nicole Gestalt is looking for stories set in a might-have-been Victorian setting filled with clockwork machines and airships. Think Jules Verne or League of Extraordinary Gentleman, think Sherlock Holmes with clockwork machines and the film Wild, Wild West.
The stories do not have to be focused in the Victorian era they could be modern day stories but still with the Victorian clockwork style. They could even be off world — think spaceships powered by nothing but steam, or mighty metal boats propelled by sails powered by the rays of the sun. Be as inventive as you can but please don't forget the story line and the relationships! Since this is an erotic anthology there should be on the page sex scenes however don't forget the interaction between the characters and the relationship they have. The stories should either end with a Happy-For-Now or a Happy-Ever-After it would have to be a amazingly good story for me to select it if it didn't (but I am well prepared to have my opinion changed on that).
Nicole will be looking for stories that stand out so please don't just set your stories in London, they can be set anywhere in the world — or even off world. Don't be afraid to experiment
The No-No's: No scat, bestiality, under age sex, golden showers, rape or forced sex or incest of any kind and necrophilia (that does not include intelligent undead such as Vampires). If in doubt please ask
Format of submission: Please send the submissions double spaced in Times New Roman, 12 point black font. Indent the first line of each paragraph half an inch and double space (using normal double spacing please do not add an extra line between the paragraphs). Double quotation marks! Please submit your final, complete and totally edited version of the story. File format: .doc or .rtf. Since this is a British publisher UK spelling and grammar is greatly preferred.
In your document at the top left of the page please include you legal name, mailing address and a fifty words or less author bio written in the third person. If you are using a pen-name please provide both and make it clear which one you wish to use.
Please email your submissions to: email@example.com
Authors must own their rights to the stories and not have had them published anywhere else. Please note the publisher has final approval over the stories included in the manuscript.
I have questions:
Is queer sex any more or less of a workout?
What about masturbation?
If you can manage it, can sex while working out become akin to crossfit?
Does it help that I am totally turned on by work out clothes?
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
The 519 Church Street Community Centre
519 Church Street, Toronto
Toronto sex workers and allies, please join us for a vigil December 17th on the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. Let us gather as a community to honour the memories of those who have lost their lives as a result of the stigmatization of sex work and appreciate those currently navigating the margins of the sex trade—migrants, street based, trans women, black, Indigenous and people of colour. We will continue to demand an end to the stigmatization and criminalization that condones violence towards sex workers.
Confirmed speakers include Audrey Huntley from No More Silence and Elene Lam, Former Director Zi Teng, Hong Kong/Chinese sex worker rights org.
An altar will be created to honour victims of violence. Anyone is welcome to contribute to in a way that is meaningful to their own spirituality.
Right before the event, from 3:30-4:30, there will be a closed group discussion open only to current and former sex workers. We will discuss our experiences and if we desire, develop a message to be delivered at the vigil
When: December 17, 2013
Where: 519 Community Centre, 519 Church St
Time: 4:30-5:30pm Speakers and performances
(closed group 3:30-4:30 open only to current and former sex workers)
Food and tokens will be provided
Free, wheelchair accessible, ASL TBD
Sponsored by The Native Youth Sexual Health Network
Please support sex workers by spreading the word. Invite your friends so that they might invite theirs.
for more information: http://maggiestoronto.ca/
Wednesday, 4 December 2013
Every community needs leaders—even ones who don't start out with that intention. Any and everyone who aspire to joining to the sex blogging community would do well to learn from Rori.
How did you get into sex blogging?
I also really love the work I do with other sex bloggers. I wrote an ebook about how to start a sex blog, and anyone who downloads it also gets weekly emails from me filled with advice on how to improve their blogs. I love blogging!
What inspired you to start your annual list of top sex bloggers?
I wanted to help readers find new blogs to read. I had a small list of personal favorites, but thought it would be fun to build out that list and than share it with others. I asked for nominations from my readers and was so pleasantly surprised with the response that I decided to do it every year. It's really been a labor of love, because every year I have hundreds of nominations to go through and I try to be as fair as possible.
What motivates your Advice posts? Questions from others or issues you are experiencing yourself?
As I noted previously, I love helping people, so most come from issues I see others happen. Most of the time, this heavily overlaps with issues I've had myself. It always amazing me that people around the world have such similar problems, but that just tells me that we need more education out there, and more positive messages that having an active sex life is natural—and very achievable.
What erotica really does it for you these days? Has this changed over time?
I still love elements of BDSM in erotica that I read, but that's just a personal taste. Great dialogue is a must, and if the beginning doesn't immediately grab me, I'm bored. Those things haven't really changed over time for me. Good writing is good writing!
What I find really distracting is when a blogger refers to past events or talks about people and I have no knowledge of what they're talking about because I'm a new blog reader and they didn't provide a link. That's a mistake I made myself, but I now try to include links whenever I reference something that people might not know about or whenever I continue a story I started earlier. I also have a cast of characters page on my blog where I talk about who everyone is, and I love when other bloggers do too. It really helps me get into the erotica when I know the history.
No way. I just wanted to have some fun! But, my career led me down a path where I have been constantly learning about blogging (in all niches, not just sex) and attending educational events and conferences about how to be a better blogger. As I started to learn more and more, I thought about how the same concepts apply to sex bloggers, and I wanted to share what had worked (and not worked) for me.
How did you get connected with the Extreme Restraints, Divine Bitches, etc to start your online store? Was that your initiative?
What advice can you give newer sex bloggers about establishing affiliate relationships with companies?
First, it is my opinion that you should pick a few companies to work with instead of working with every company other the sun. That way, you can meet your minimums faster (every company has its own rules about when you are paid, but in most cases, you have to make a minimum amount of money before they will cut a check).
Next, make sure you actually like the company you're working with. Some people, especially other sex bloggers, are very vocal about working with some companies and not working with others. You have to do what YOU think is best. Don't just go with the highest affiliate percentages. Send your readers somewhere you trust.
Also, consider factors like return policies, shipping rates, information given about the product, etc. Your readers do care about these things. Another factor to consider is how often the company does sales. When products are discounted, it's prime time for you to promote and make some sales!
Over the past few months, I haven't been posting as regularly as before, because I'm working on some exciting projects that are coming down the pipeline, including more ebooks and a sex blogger community site! I'm also soon expanding to have a podcast as well, which is really exciting, and I hope everyone will give it a listen!
If you'd like to see who "won," click here.
Friday, December 13, 2013
6:00pm until 10:00pm
Northbound Leather Ltd.
586 Yonge Street, Toronto
While this debate is specifically gendered, I wonder if it could work as a gender-neutral discussion?
The comments Trina makes could also be applicable to women who are being not performing to their male partners' satisfaction, and Bryan's strong suggestion of positive "I" statements would make anyone more comfortable in discussing sexual incompatibility.
February 25-March 2, 2014
New York, NY; December 3, 2013 - Scheduled for February 25-March 2, 2014, the eleventh annual CineKink NYC will feature a specially-curated program of films and videos that celebrate and explore a wide diversity of sexuality. In addition to screenings, plans for the festival also include a short film competition, audience choice awards, a special adult entertainment showcase, and a gala kick-off party. A tour is set to follow this flagship event, showcasing audience favorites from the NYC festival selections.
Billing itself as "the kinky film festival," the event is presented by CineKink, an organization dedicated to the recognition and encouragement of sex-positive and kink-friendly depictions in film and television. With offerings drawn from both the independent cinema world and the adult, works presented at CineKink NYC will range from documentary to drama, comedy to experimental, slightly spicy to quite explicit--and everything in between.
The 2013 festival saw Audience Choice Award honors given to "Remedy" (Cheyenne Picardo) for Best Narrative Feature with "Betty Page Reveals All" (Mark Mori) winning for Best Documentary Feature. In the shorts competition, juried festival awards went to "Pinecone" (Michael Markham) for Best Comedy Short, "Krutch" (Matthew Clark) for Best Dramatic Short, "Impact" (Mollena Williams) for Best Experimental Short, and to "Zucht und Ordnung" (Jan Soldat) and "Ritual" (Jörg Fockele), tied for Best Documentary Short. Honorable Best Mention awards were presented to "50 Seconds of 50 Shades" (Bo Blaze), "Amber" (Aven Frey, Gala Vanting and Frank Ly) and "Rift" (Keith Hodder). The annual CineKink "Bring It!" award, determined by audience vote during a showcase of recent adult cinema, went to "Joy Club" (Petra Joy).
CineKink is currently completing its 2013 tour with a series of screenings in Australia, a first for the organization, concluding a season that also saw the festival visiting Austin, Chicago, Oakland, Portland and Berlin.
Primary sponsors for CineKink/2013 were Crystal Delights, KinkyMedical.net, the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, the Leather Archives and Museum, njoy, and Takedown Piracy.
A call for entries to submit works for CineKink/2014 runs until December 12, 2013, and the festival line-up and schedule for CineKink NYC will be announced at the end of January.
For more information visit http://www.cinekink.com.
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
25 Mind-Numbingly Stupid Sex Questions People Actually Had To Ask On Yahoo! Answers
Consider funding We Got Lost on the Other Side of Wilderness
The holiday season is in full swing. Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and I am sure a lot of other annual celebrations that I don’t know about. What are you celebrating this month?
1. What was the last thing you hid? why?
I hid the Halloween candy so the rest of the household wouldn't eat it.
2. What was the last lie you told? Why did you tell it?
That's a good question...I honestly don't know. This is not to say that I'm some angel...I honestly just don't remember. Or maybe...I'm...lying...now...
3. What do you listen to when you workout?
These days, podcasts. Professional wrestling podcasts. The guys who produce it are hilarious.
4. What is your favorite type of exercise?
I ride my bike for both commuting and exercise purposes. I also rollerblade. Actually, I pretty much like all exercise, but those two are the primary ones these days.
5. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
I am a night owl, but circumstances force me to be a morning person these days. Bad mix these days since I am still not smart enough to go to bed at a decent hour, despite having to wake up at 4:30am 3–4 days per week.
6. If you have a problem falling to sleep what tips/tricks do you use to induce sleep?
This is never a problem. I can fall asleep at any moment.
Bonus: In the United States we just finished with Thanksgiving holiday. Tell us your:
1. Best Thanksgiving 2013 memory
Canadian Thanksgiving happens the second weekend in October. We spent a good amount of the day outside in nice weather.
2. Worst Thanksgiving 2013 memory
Nothing notably bad happened this year. Long drive? That's about it...otherwise I am thankful for it!
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link totmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!
Monday, 2 December 2013
Getting involved in sex work of any sort can surely strain a relationship. It is stressful for both the person doing their work and their partner. It is nice to see that Ashley and her partner have found a comfortable compromise to her doing her phone work. And hey, it seems they've discovered a fringe benefit too!
Daily Sex Discussion #385
What is the most uncomfortable place you've had sex?
Reply with your response to #dailysexdiscussion
And be sure to watch Laci Green's video on slut-shaming. Great talk—I love her videos!
So, I'm not really a big fan of this article, but I post it because it has some unique positions in it. However, one of them, the Tilt-A-Whirl, seems pretty dangerous and downright unlikely to be possible. I'm up for trying most sexy time things, but I see a few things happening if we try this:
- She's going to fall because I have, I'd say, average strength in my arms.
- We're going to get too involved, move around too much, and my cock's going to get broken.
- There will be too much straining, balancing and concentration for the whole endeavour to be at all enjoyable
50 Women Answer ‘What Goes Through Your Head While Giving A Blowjob?’
4:30pm until 5:30pm PST
Anywhere... from the comfort of your home, office, or car
On Monday's call, Eugene Hedlund and Monique Darling will share their ideas about Conscious relating, how to upgrade your sexual encounters, how to expand your definition of what "sex" is, so that you can find 101 more ways to include that energetic ecstasy in your life.
Tips, tricks and ideas that have worked for us in our lives and the 1,000's of clients we have worked with over the years. We will also talk a little about falling in love with YOURSELF and let you know about two exciting weekends coming up later this month, where you can dive even deeper with the both of us.. LIVE, up close and personal. (The first in Chicago, then in Nashville)
The second half of the call we will open up for questions from YOU? What are the questions you have always wanted to ask, but been afraid to? Now is your chance........We dare you ;)
When: Mon Dec 9, 2013 4:30-5:30 pm PST
Where: ANYwhere from your telephone
To sign up and register for your call in info - 619 326 2772 - access code: 291-4328
The SheddingSkins path is a seamless blend of Movement Meditation, Sound Alchemy, Shamanic Ritual and Tantric Ceremony into one cohesive practice where each of these medicines are used to create a comprehensive system of personal transformation.
Eugene's passion is for exploring the edge with courageous authenticity and embracing the shadow in order to discover what lies underneath. He loves to build community and tribe through the transformational practices of dance, sound, art and ceremony.
Monique Darling, San Diego, CA, is the founder of Divine Interludes which provides workshops and experiential play-shops in the art of Tantra and conscious loving. She has studied and taught with renowned Tantra teachers and extraordinary workshop facilitators since 1990 and is a certified Cuddle Party Facilitator. She has been featured on TLC and The Dr’s and has been interviewed by magazines across the USA. Monique is dedicated to empowering others utilizing her vast repertoire of cutting-edge teachings. She specializes in helping others reclaim their power and natural sensuality by transmuting fear and repression into courage, self-love and freedom. She guides from a place of understanding and her natural exuberance is infectious! She is available for private sessions, experiential workshops and Cuddle Parties.
Check out more of what Brianne has to say on this subject this week on Sex City!
Sunday, 1 December 2013
Thursday December 12, 2013
7:00 pm to 9:30 pm
Good for Her
Price : $33.00
Are you keen to find a partner or found one and want to make sure you stay strong? This seminar is ideal for singles wanting to attract the right partner; and for new couples wanting to keep their relationship alive.
Carmelia Ray is a veteran matchmaking, dating and attraction expert with over 21 years of experience, helping people find, meet and keep their relationships. As an executive of Lavalife and co-founder of her own popular dating blog, she will answer your burning online dating, flirting and attraction questions. Expect an interactive, "hands on" style, as she shares the skills to becoming a more confident, sexier, attractive self. All genders welcome.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
On Saturday Dec 14th, the Sex Circus visits Oasis Aqualounge! From 9:00pm-3:00am, join us under the big top for pleasure, performers and poolside festivities!
Renowned Tarot card reader, Henry Kestler will be , demonstrating a candle magic show and will be offering FREE Tarot readings to guests. All participants will receive a raffle ticket to be entered into a draw to win a ‘Sex Circus Gift Pack,’ which includes:
Gift certificate to The Occult Shop
Set of candles (red, blue, green, pink, yellow, purple)
A brand new/sealed Cinnamon Oil
The sinfully sexy St. Stella will delight and seduce the crowd with her carnival-inspired contortionist act, as she bends and twists her supple body to the amazement of the crowd.
Our Kissing Booth will be featured on the main bar-step right up and smooch a sweetie!
Music will be provided by DJ Johnny B. Goode.
Women and couples/partners welcomes. Club open from 11:00am-3:00am
Some of the 2012 statistics from UNAIDS:
- 35 million people globally are living with HIV.
- 2.3 million people became newly infected with HIV.
- 1.6 million people died from AIDS-relted illnesses.
- 2.1 million adolescents are living with HIV.
Saturday, 30 November 2013
Amber Dawn’s sex-trade memoir nabs City of Vancouver award
Getting Curious: The Surprising Skill for Hot, Fun and Consent-Happy Sex
Sex To Promote Restaurants
Stress is no good for your sex life, study suggests
Can A Friends With Benefits Relationship Provide The Same “Benefits” As A Committed Relationship?
Who Owns the Word Addiction?
Porn For Women: A Tasteful Guide To Sexy Time
This is how he feels Every. Single. Time. We have sex: the revelation that made me decide to never fake an orgasm, ever again
Couple Has An Open Marriage So Complicated, It's Hard To Keep Track
BDSM as a relational game of boundaries
Shop was about more than sex, owner says
With Glut of Lonely Men, China Has an Approved Outlet for Unrequited Lust
17 Ways to Sweet Talk a Woman
The second coming of AIDS
Hold the Phone: Walgreens Is Selling a ZOMBIE DILDO
Married to a Doll: Why One Man Advocates Synthetic Love
World's largest Sugar Daddy site to launch in Toronto
Giving Thanks for Sex; However…
WHY IS THE CANADIAN MEDIA STILL REFERRING TO SEX WORKERS AS PROSTITUTES?
Have you, or do you intend to, purchase sex-related items in all of the Black Friday/Cyber Monday madness?
Reply with your response to #dailysexdiscussion
Coincidentally, I have the book Paul Bloom used in his study, Timothy Greenfield-Sanders' XXX: 30 Porn-Star Portraits. And I have to say I had pretty much the reaction that Bloom describes. I definitely want to pull it out and take another look today.
Friday, 29 November 2013
This question carries weight toward people who would be in the position to receive semen on their body, though I do not at all wish to exclude people who might receive vaginal fluid on their skin.
Check out Marie Rebelle's reaction to receiving her Master's cum on her body. People definitely have very different feelings and reactions to this act, and they can certainly be the result of more than just an aversion to cum.
Personally, I fall much more in the camp of wanting to receive my partner's liquids in many different ways. I like messy sex. But I can absolutely understand why Marie or anyone else would not enjoy this act.
Is it a cop out to say that it wholly depends on the person?
I would find my own statement too week were it not for recently prevailing thoughts on sex. 50 years ago, you could say men for sure. Well, for most of history you could say that. But as society has come to better understand, respect and ultimately acknowledge women's sexuality and desires, we see that most people want sex, most people want it a fair bit and the gender difference is not as pronounced.
The 8 Sexiest Black Friday/Cyber Monday Deals
BLACK FRIDAY SEX TOY SALES, DEALS & DISCOUNTS!
Thursday, 28 November 2013
What is your favourite word for orgasm?
The word I use most often is “come” (and in my books I do change “cum” to “come” for grammatical reasons) but I like le petite mort. Like so many French sayings, it sounds sexier to me than so many of our words (“jizz,” “pop,” etc.). That being said, I don’t think I’ve ever used le petite mort in my writing, but perhaps that’s a new challenge/prompt for me to work with!
A helping hand (or other body part) or sex toy or other form of assistance can certainly be good for the drama that is necessary to create an erotic story, but in The Big Book of Orgasms I was lucky to get to do something I rarely do, which is include a few masturbation and self-stimulation stories. Masturbation is just as much a part of the erotic experience as partnered sex, but it can be challenging to build up enough drama to work in short story form, so the micro fiction format worked well, for example, in “Steamy” by Tess Danesi, which goes from Kegels in spin class to a different kind of solo workout in the steam room. There’s a lot of room for playing up the tension of two characters interacting over orgasm, whether the type in Jade Melisande’s “Coming Together: The Elusive Simultaneous Orgasm” or “Forced Orgasms” by Shoshanna Evers. There are so many ways to orgasm physically and so many motivations mentally, and then when you add to that the layers of interaction between one or more partners, there are an infinite number of possibilities, so there’s probably more variety in the latter, but I’m open to all literary orgasms.
Which type of orgasm works best, in a literary sense: the moaner, the screamer, the talker, or the silent gasp?
It truly depends on the story. I think it can be hard to articulate the noises a person might make during an orgasm in words without sounding comical, but it can be done. Sometimes silence truly is golden, but then again, maybe they’re silent because something else is happening that is so overwhelming they can’t make noise.
Do you think a collection of stories that feature a distinct absence of orgasm would interest readers—or do we need that "money shot?"
I don’t think readers want a forced orgasm in the literary sense (as opposed to the kinky sense, such as in the story “Forced Orgasms” by Shoshanna Evers), so I don’t think it’s necessary to tell a good erotic story—one of my earliest stories “Lap Dance Lust” doesn’t have anything approaching an orgasm. But I probably wouldn’t publish a whole book of erotica without orgasms because I think readers would feel something essential was missing. I wouldn’t want to read about gratuitous orgasms though where they were there just as a checklist item; they need to be an essential part of the story. If they’re not, then maybe it’s better off without that kind of climax.
Were you expecting to publish as many kinky stories as you did?
I wasn’t sure what to expect but I’m glad the final book has a mix of vanilla and kinky stories. I think kink works well as both a means of achieving orgasm and a motivation for it in some cases, and I hope that in this format even readers who don’t normally read BDSM material will appreciate, for example, a story like “Hard Knocks” by Malin James, which looks at whether it’s possible for the main character to come from being spanked. For a lot of authors kink seems to be what they gravitate to, so it makes sense that that’s what they submitted. I wanted to make sure that with 69 stories they were as varied as possible and didn’t repeat themes, though I didn’t realize until after there are two movie theater stories, which I think is okay.
Will the follow up be called "The Second Coming?"
Ha! I’m focused right now on getting the word out about The Big Book of Orgasms and hoping that readers new to my work and possibly the erotica genre take a chance and pick it up. I’d be thrilled if it warrants a second coming, as it were, and would love to see a whole new round of 69 bouts of super short sexiness.